KFC releases new dating simulator


Illustration by Lillie Busch.

In the age of social media, companies are fighting to get their names out into the world, like by being sassy on Twitter. In an unexpected move, KFC released a dating simulator.

The game “‘I Love You Colonel Sanders!’ A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator” was released on Sept. 24 and was developed by Psyop. The dating simulator was released on Steam for free.

The main character is a culinary student who tries to date classmate Colonel Sanders. The choices made throughout the game affect your chances of friendship and love. The gameplay follows the style of visual novels, meaning the only control is clicking to the next dialogue option.

Right away the game reminds me of a college student not wanting to go to class. The first option given is deciding if the character should wake up when the alarm goes off or lie in bed and skip class.

The rest of the game’s play is set at the cooking school where I met the characters of the game. The first person met is the main character’s best friend, who follows the awkward friend trope. After the best friend, the main villains are met, Aeshleigh and Van Van the Man Man, who looks just like a “JoJo” character — pose and all.

Other characters include a child named Pop, a corgi professor named Sprinkles and the colonel himself. The entire class is immediately in love with Colonel Sanders, and the game constantly describes him as perfect and handsome.

I tried to win the colonel over from the start of the game, which was not too hard to do. Choosing to sit next to him and getting all the questions right on a quiz made him compliment me and develop a crush. Constant compliments on his cooking and skills only added to his interest in me.

Colonel Sanders chose me for his cooking partner when it was time to get to the lessons. Choosing a classic of mashed potatoes and gravy to cook caused the colonel to gain even more interest in me.

After the cooking class, the colonel and I go into the quad where a turn-based fighting minigame occurred. The fight is inspired by classic RPG games where each fighter takes turns attacking and defending. The fight goes on slowly, only ending when the colonel steps in and defeats the attacker.

Later there is a cook-off minigame where I had to answer questions relating to cooking such as what temperature does water boil and how many herbs and spices KFC uses on their chicken.

The cook-off ends after the main character got distracted by the colonel and crushes their hand in a mixer.

After the cook-off, the colonel opens up about his past and all the business ventures he failed at. It even references the rumor that the real Colonel Sanders killed a man with the joke of the in-game colonel saying he killed his business partner. The background information tells the player why the colonel is obsessed with being the best chef in the world.

After the colonel opens up, he invites me back to his house. I chose this as the right time to admit to having feelings, and the colonel admitted he did as well. The only issue is the colonel is afraid developing feelings would distract him from his dreams, which is too relatable.

The game ends with a final cooking exam where the colonel and I team up and make a dish that is so amazing that everyone passes the class. The class has a graduation ceremony and the colonel comes out to ask a very important question.

I had chosen the right options, and the colonel asked me to be his partner in business and in life. The game ends with the line, “I love you, Colonel Sanders!” The game took about an hour to finish, and every moment was finger-licking good.