I never thought I’d be typing “When does Taco Bell stop serving breakfast?” into Google. As it turns out, they stop at 11a.m., a half-hour longer than their fast food counterpart, McDonald’s.

That’s still too early for this roll-out-of-bed-stuff-a-granola-bar-in-my-mouth college student. But that doesn’t mean we late-risers can’t all drool together like children with their faces pressed against the window of a candy store, right?

Taco Bell’s Chief Marketing Officer Chris Brandt said their new breakfast menu proudly pays tribute to its original menu, according to ABC news. The connection is clear when reading featured breakfast item titles such as the Waffle Taco, the A.M Crunchwrap and the Breakfast Burrito.

“We did it in a uniquely Taco Bell way. We’re (going to) do something a little bit different and so that’s how we think that we have a great chance,” Brandt said.

Indeed the company entered the world of waffles and maple syrup in March ready to work mouth watering magic. Their website’s item descriptions alone are enough to make you want to stand up and slap yo’ mama. (Figuratively speaking of course. Disclaimer: The Student Printz does not condone domestic violence of any kind.)

The A.M. Crunchwrap with steak would be my go-to breakfast fix out of the restaurant’s 13 newest food items. Read this description, and try to keep your keyboard dry:
“Fluffy scrambled eggs, a golden crispy hash brown, real cheddar cheese, marinated, premium thick cut steak and creamy jalapeno sauce wrapped up in a warm flour tortilla and grilled, so it’s good to go.”
Yet does this description, and the other adjective-spruced ones like it, live up to a tasty reality?

Masslive.com writer Nick O’Malley gave his review of each breakfast menu item in the article, “I ate it so you don’t have to.” Here’s a summary of some of his brave discoveries.

Waffle Taco:
Waffle- soggy and underwhelming. Eggs- bland. Cheese- Wait, there was cheese? Couldn’t even taste it. Bacon- stingy but provided a nice salty balance. Syrup- liquid sugar.
Overall: A great idea in theory, but the medley falls flat. You can only taste individual ingredients, which weren’t that great to begin with.

A.M. Crunchwrap:
Same as the regular Crunchwrap Supreme but with eggs and hash browns. Not bad.
From O’Malley’s critique, expect to dedicate some time to take the Browns to the Superbowl. Export a cigar to Cuba. Dropping a chocolate cobra…you get the idea.

Cinnabon Delights:
Pretty darn good, if you’re into dessert for breakfast.

Well there you have it. A true pioneer. Columbus would shake this man’s hand.

“When is she going to start talking about the calories?” the faithful readers whispered in their minds. And she replied, “NEVER!” Because it doesn’t take a licensed dietician to know that any delicious food descriptions you read about from Taco Bell have to be taken with a grain of salt (or 1,500).However, for those counting calories, Taco Bell does provide all of their nutritional information at www.tacobell.com/tacobell/nutrition/information. As for the rest of us fatties, “Live Más.”