The holiday season is typically filled with joy and wonder, but Red One may not be the movie for those seeking good tidings. Despite its star-studded cast, the film falls short where it counts: the plot.
Chris Evans leads the cast, but his performance feels like a return to his Johnny Storm persona, with a mix of Deadpool and Wolverine thrown in. Lucy Liu plays a director responsible for keeping mythical creatures hidden from the world, and J.K. Simmons appears as a version of Santa Claus who can shoulder press 265 pounds. Yes, you read that right—Santa, played by Simmons, can lift 265 pounds. Dwayne Johnson plays Santa’s number one elf, though his character feels more like Johnson playing himself than anything else.
The premise of the movie is the villain kidnapping Santa, and Dwayne Johnson has to find him. Jack O’Malley, Chris Evans, joins Dwayne on his quest, and together, they travel to different places through portals, searching for a lead. One thing leads to another, and they find themselves faced up against Krumpus, where the best scene of the entire movie takes place, but I’ll dive into that present later. After the encounter, the dynamic duo heads to where they think Santa is to face the kidnapper for the showdown. In the end, Santa is saved and can mission impossible throughout the night to deliver presents and save Christmas.
Believe me when I say that though the plot seems incredibly thought out and interesting, it’s not. I fell asleep halfway through and then woke up to a fever dream where an ice cream truck drives up from the ocean in front of our heroes. Who comes out of the ice cream truck? Three buff snowmen with a top hat and a corn cob pipe. At this point in the movie, I debated walking out but decided to keep watching in case there was even a little payoff. There was. When Krumpus is introduced, everything makes sense. Dwayne Johnson, being as tall and big of a man as he is, needed to have comparisons. Krumpis is twice the size of Dwayne Johnson, and slaps some sense into him for the audience. Literally. ‘Twas the highlight of the entire movie.
All in all, is this a movie I recommend to see? This reviewer says only if you have nothing better to do and need to waste two hours. I will say, however, that this movie did have a neat concept of the reindeer, where they were 12 feet tall. The sleigh, however, looked like a back-to-the-future time machine. Should you find yourself walking into the theatre and then find yourself sitting in a seat in front of the screen to watch this movie… you have my condolences. But it does have a few shining moments that make the movie semi-almost worth watching.
This reviewer awards it two out of five stars, but if one were under the influence of eggnog… three out of five, only because of Krumpus. As well as for the Sonic 3 and Wicked commercials that played before the movie started.
Bah humbug to all, and to all, a good night.
